Know How to Give Flowers to a Filipina (Philippine Lady)!

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Friday, July 17, 2009

Relationships between Filipino Women (Filipina) and Western Men

You have probably read articles about Filipinas and got to know their culture a little better. You have probably used your own judgment and decided that you would like to build a relationship with a Filipino girl. But why would a Filipino lady suit you? And why would a Filipino woman prefer a western man to a Filipino man?
First, the Filipino man is a problem. Women here get the dirty end of the stick, like in many Asian countries. In these Asian countries where it happens it is not considered the "dirty end," but a duty. So Filipina women have a lot to contemplate when considering marrying one of the available males in her country. Will he be able to support me and our family? Will he keep a mistress? Well he beat me and having no right to divorce I will have no alternative but to stay with him?
In other words Western men are far more desirable for a life companion than Filipino men. Western men are perceived as being very loving, and more modern than Filipinos. This means the woman can look forward to more freedom and a more equal relationship with a Western man.
As for fat and age, they are both pluses in the Philippines. Both women and men have the highest respect for age and age difference is not important to Filipino women. You don’t have to worry if you are overweight, like half the population of the western world since weight is a status symbol. If you are overweight, you virtually lose twenty percent of your weight when you step on Philippine soil. Most Filipinas even prefer men with a little, or even a lot of, meat on their bones. In Asian cultures generally, being overweight is a sign of substance and wealth.
Finally, just as many Westerners are attracted to women of different races, many Filipino women find the physical appearance of Westerners to be attractive.
That basically should answer your question why would a Filipino girl want a relationship with a western man. But you still have some other concerns, right?
First, you may have some concerns about why a woman would place her profile on a dating site. You may worry that perhaps she only wants to get married to obtain the right of abode in a Western country, then to divorce you and take all the money she can in the settlement. There are always exceptions, but to the overwhelming majority of Filipinos this is the furthest thing from their mind. If you have ever witnessed a Filipina crying her eyes out with home sickness then you would know she would gladly trade in the Cadillac and steak dinners for a ride in a Jeepney down to get some Halo Halo any day of the week. The Philippines might not be one of the richest countries in the world, but Filipinos love their country, their home and their family. The most important thing by far to most Filipino women is to have a stable family, including a husband and children. Money, although of course desirable, is very much secondary to the stability of a loving marriage.
Other concern you might have is that being so attached to her family she might want to bring all of them over. For one thing, we already mentioned that Filipinos love their country and it's a little too egocentric to presume that all of her family desire to leave their homeland in favor of yours. But even if that were the case, a Filipina can't bring anyone over until she is your country’s citizen (which usually takes 3-5 years). For another, only parents and siblings are eligible for petition but the wait for that is too long. In most cases, it takes ten to fifteen years before family members are granted visas. So even if your Filipina wanted to bring over a single family member it would be 15-20 years before he or she arrived.
We hope we have given you some clarification for your concerns. Of course we have made some generalizations so please remember that Filipino ladies are women first and foremost, including all the variety of types of personality that that encompasses. If you are confident that you want to build a relationship with a Filipina, a nice place to find your charming Filipino lady would be FilipinoFriendFinder.

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Thursday, July 16, 2009

Filipino Courtship Customs - Courting a Filipina

Courting is far more indirect in Filipino culture than in most Western societies. Filipino relationships pass in several stages, usually lasting for a long period of time. An engagement, for example, often lasts for several years and as far as marriage is concerned, it is viewed as a lifetime commitment.

The Friendly Beginning

Often the starting point of a relationship is a friendly date. The couple will go out together in public places as friends only and will be accompanied by other friends. During this stage of courting there will be no public displays of affection, the man has to be discreet and friendly or he will be accused of being too arrogant. It is too early for kissing or holding hands at this point.

Discreet Dating

That is the second stage of Filipino courtship and now couples may go out together without the company of their friends. Again, the keyword here is “discreetly”.
Filipino women cannot afford to be fast, they are expected to be pakipot (hard to get) because it is seen as an appropriate behavior when they are courted. A Filipino girl never shows her admirer that she is also in love with him immediately.

Playing hard to get is one way by which the Filipina can measure the sincerity of the man interested in her. It also lets her show the man that he has to work hard to win her love. Some courtships may last for years before the woman accepts her admirer’s love and they become magkasintahan, a term for boyfriend-girlfriend.

Taking the Relationship Public

After some time the couple may decide to come out in the open about their romance. At this time they will inform their family and friends about their relationship. Every man who wants to be taken seriously by a Filipina is obliged to visit her family and introduce himself formally to her parents. It is rather inappropriate to court a Filipino girl and formalize the relationship without informing the girl’s parents.

There is a tacit rule here that says: “When courting the Filipina you are not courting just her, you are courting the entire family”. Following this rule will help you earn her respect by entrusting her family with high regard.

There are certain traditions that have to be observed when visiting the Filipina’s family. For example, if the man wants to be acceptable to the girl’s family, he has to give small gifts (pasalubong) every time he drops by her family's house. If you have any questions regarding which traditions you should observe, you may discuss them with the older siblings.

Engagement and Marriage

After being a couple with your Filipina for quite a time and decide to get married, the first thing you should do is pamanhikan (ask the girl’s parents for her hand). More about this tradition and those following it you can find in our article “Filipino Wedding Customs”.

When courting a Filipino woman you will find that she is shy and reserved even when holding great feelings for you. This is a part of her culture and even for a Western man there is no way around that. You should treat your Filipina with respect, lead the courtship with your heart and you may find a lifetime partner that will enrich your life as you have never imagined.

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Wednesday, July 15, 2009

Understanding the "True Filipina" Culture

Filipino Families

A romantic relationship with a Filipina has a better chance of success if you understand her culture. Filipina women live in a culture focused on the community, with the family as the core social unit. Here faithfulness to the family is a tradition.

In the Philippines, it is important to meet a woman’s family because the family is so important to her. If a man wants to be taken seriously by a woman, he has to visit the latter's family and introduce himself formally to the parents of the girl. It is rather inappropriate to court a woman and formalize the relationship without informing the parents of the girl.

Filipino children are committed to their parents who usually went through a lot to raise them. Their desire is to make their parents' life easier. If you are capable and refuse to help support her family who may need help, she may not say anything, but she will neither respect you nor understand. Sometimes the family is more important than you. There is an Asia saying, that is accepted in the Philippines, "You can get another wife or husband but not another mother or father" . This family loyalty is also apparent in the fact that Filipino families keep elderly (such as grandparents) instead of sending them to any institution.

Filipinos and Filipinas are communal, interdependent people, not dependent, like in western cultures. They are so by choice and because of their cultural needs. When you marry one you marry the family at least the mother and the father, the siblings too usually. That is trite, indeed, but true. If you can't deal with that let it be known from the start of your relationship with your Filipina. If she is a "true Filipina", the relationship may not develop. If it does she may not be happy in it, but you will never know.

Filipina Sexuality

Sexuality in the Philippines is distinguished by a double standard that expects women to remain virgins until marriage while men are allowed to enjoy sexual freedom. Young women who lose their virginity before marriage, whether through rape or in a relationship, diminish their chances for a "good" marriage, while young men can "sow wild oats" with abandon and be even admired for being so "manly".

In the Philippines Virginity is sacred. The culture and the family lets the girl know it is her responsibility to keep her virginity as soon as they are old enough to understand what virginity is. Filipino men are reluctant to marry a non-virgin even if they are the one who took the virginity! Filipino woman may not even be forgiven if she is raped. Yes, this is extremely unfair but that is the way it is and the Filipina girls know it.

Love, Romance and Marriage

As far as courting is concerned, Filipinas are expected to be pakipot (playing hard to get) because it is seen as an appropriate behavior in a courtship dance. It is also one way by which the Filipina will be able to measure the sincerity of her admirer.

In order to legalize sexual relations or to avoid the stigma of becoming "old maids" young Filipino women feel pressured into early marriages. Unlike women, young men, on the other hand, are allowed to express their sexuality freely, and are sometimes initiated by fathers who take their sons to brothels for sexual intercourse with women.

Traditionally, in Filipina families the husband is expected to be the main breadwinner, chiefly responsible for the financial sustenance of the family, and the wife is "queen of the home". Filipino ladies equate domestic responsibility with being a good wife. They put their family first and they are more willing to sacrifice their career than their family.

There is no divorce in the Philippines. Filipino couples have only three ways to change the status of their marriage: legal separation, declaration of nullity, and annulment. Legal separation allows spouses to live separately but they may not remarry. Declaration of nullity presupposes that the marriage is void from the beginning and the court declares its non-existence. Annulment legally cancels the marriage and both spouses are restored to their single status.

Filipino girls, are not only beautiful women but a delight to be around because of the famous Filipina disposition and personality. Many men who have chosen a Filipina for their wife swear that they are loyal, loving and faithful past death. Now that you understand a little better the Filipina culture it is up to you and your common sense to find your loving Filipina using an online dating service like FilipinoFriendFinder or visiting the Philippines.

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Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Why Choose a Filipino Girl (Filipina)?

Perhaps you are one of the men who have already heard about the beauty of Filipino girls but continue wondering what makes Filipino women that special. Here are some reasons for dating a Filipino Girl that may give the answer to your question:
  1. Filipina girls are renowned for their beauty.
    Filipinas stand out among Asian women in terms of charm and femininity.
  2. Filipino women are naturally romantic, loving and caring.
    They are not only beautiful women but a delight to be around because of the famous Filipina disposition and personality. Many Filipinas have instilled in them since birth a sense of honor called Delikadesa. It is this sense of Delikadesa that gives them such fine admirable qualities you just won't find in ladies of the western world. You will never find a proper Filipina lie, cheat, or steal – it will bring shame upon her and her family.
  3. Filipino women put family first before money.
    To the Filipina, family will always remain a great priority. The Filipina, whom many would consider as having come from a relatively poor country, will view the close loving bonds of the Filipina Family as her wealth. The Filipina women are more willing to sacrifice career than a family.
  4. Filipinas are religious.
    Phillipines is the only christian nation in the far east.
  5. Filipina women believe in a one-man one-woman relationship
    An interesting fact is that there is no "absolute divorce" in Philippines. There is only "relative divorce" in a form of "legal separation” (husband and wife are only separated from bed and board but marriage remains in full force). Marriage in such a country where they simply do not have divorce laws is always considered a life long commitment. Filipinas welcome their responsibilities towards keeping her husband happy and strive to never lose his attention. Luckily for her most Filipina Ladies are often petite tender beautiful warm loving creatures you will never tier of giving your affection to.
  6. Filipino girls are understanding, patient and supportive.
    Even loud verbal arguments or fighting would be to de-face her self and most Filipinas would simply never engage in any such acts. This soft spoken, quiet, understanding nature of the Filipina Ladies is a desired trait many of them strive towards.
  7. Filipinas are optimistic and have flexible personality.
    They have a great sense of humor.
  8. Filipino women are excellent home keepers.
    Filipino ladies equate domestic responsibility with being a good wife (or potentially a good wife). Philippines practices "patriarchal" form of society and traditionally husbands are providers while wives are meant to stay home to keep the family in order and look after the children.
    The Filipina Lady's home is a great source of pride for her. For the Filipina girl to yell in her home is to de-face her home so you will never find her screaming or breaking dishes.
  9. Filipina girls are well educated.
    The Philippine culture places a huge emphasis on a college education. An environment of importance towards education and pride in accomplishment at school is instilled in the Filipina's family.
  10. Offers very high respect to partners or provider in the family.
    Some, actually many who marry these Filipina beauties, swear they make the best wives in the world, not only beautiful, but loyal, loving and faithful past death.
  11. Filipina-American marriages are more successful than American-American marriages.
    It is interesting to note that Filipina girls - American men marriages arranged through dating services, such as FilipinoFriendFinder, would appear to have a lower divorce rate than the nation as a whole. The divorce rate of these marriages is 20% while the standard American- American marriage of today has about a 40% chance of divorce, though the statistics vary wildly according to which source you use.

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Monday, July 13, 2009

10 Important Tips for Men Who Wants to Date a Filipina

Dates can offer a range of emotions from thrilling to terrifying. With that in mind, it is vital to be fully prepared to make a great impression on each date you go on. Here are 10 tips for men that will help things go smoothly:
1. Have a Bath and Shave

One of the worst things you could do when going out on a date (especially if it is your first date) is to turn up unshaven, looking dirty and smelling. Women will partly judge you on how hygienic you are. After all, you would be appalled if she turned up for the date looking like a mutt dog with tangled fur that hadn't bathed for days.

Do a "personal check" before the date - are your fingernails clean, hair neat, clothes ironed, shoes polished, and any odors under control (including breath)? Women look at these things and are aware if they aren't in check. You should be too!

It doesn’t cost anything to take a bath and to make an effort to look and smell nice. Remember, bad breath and body odor are an instant turn off and she will assume that this is how you are all the time even if you are just having a bad day. As a result, she won’t be able to see beyond your appearance.
2. Be on Time

Whatever you do, don’t turn up late. Turning up late will send out all the wrong impressions. At first she may think she's been stood up, but after arriving late her opinion will change to you being unreliable or not caring enough about her to be on time. If you are picking her up from her home then it is advisable to turn up five minutes before you are due. Any earlier and you might catch her adjusting her makeup or still getting ready. Five minutes early is the earliest you should arrive. But never be late.
3. Give Her a Thoughtful Gift

A woman feels special when the man she is with gives her a thoughtful gift. What is a thoughtful gift? Well, you obvious know some things about a woman before a first date that came from phone conversations, emails, etc. Take what you know and buy her an appropriate date gift. For example, let's say that the woman really likes golf. There are companies that make chocolate golf sets - a miniature chocolate club with a chocolate tee and chocolate golf ball. This would make a great first date gift. For a generic thoughtful gift, buy a chocolate rose. That's always appropriate without being overboard.
4. Be a Gentleman

Hold the door open for her, let her walk through the doors first, pull her chair, and be polite to her along with the people around you. Women like to feel special and by treating her like a lady she will think you are fantastic.
5. Compliment Her

The first thing to say to her is "you look beautiful" before you even ask how she is. Keep up the compliments throughout your date, but do not go over board (3-4 for the night should be more than enough). A woman loves to be complimented, to feel beautiful and to think that you are attracted to her. The more sincere and observant your compliment, the bigger impact it will have. But remember again not to go overboard. More than four compliments may make you appear fake and not real.
6. Listen to Her and Ask Questions

Nobody wants to spend the whole night listening to someone talk about themselves. But you do have to get to know each other. Ask her questions, but more importantly listen to what she has to say. A woman is attracted to a man who is genuinely interested in hearing what she has to say. Spend a lot more time asking her questions and letting her talk than talking yourself.
7. Prepare for the Conversation

The last thing you want is to be sitting at a meal with nothing to talk about. Think about your date and what you would like to know about her. You may think that it is easy to talk and that you will not run out of questions to ask or that you will automatically have the answers but until you are in the situation, you have no idea what it will be like. Avoid talking about past relationships or other women while on the date. Keep your focus, attention, and conversation fully on her.
8. Pay for the Date

It's virtually always appropriate for a gentleman to offer to pay for the date. When a man takes it upon himself to pay for the date, he is displaying that old act of "chivalry" that is missing from many men these days. However, some women feel more comfortable going "dutch" and if she insists on this, then don't resist. To avoid awkwardness, make sure you let her know before the date that you plan on paying for it.
9. The Goodnight Kiss

Some women prefer not to kiss after a first date, while others may be disappointed if the guy doesn't even try. There is no easy answer to this question. Body language and chemistry throughout the night is key in the decision you make. If it feels right, then you may want to consider making the move. If it doesn't feel right then a friendly hug may be more appropriate.
10. I'll Call You

Only tell her that you will call her if you mean it and intend on seeing her again. Do not, under any circumstances, tell her you will call her if you are not interested and have no plans to call her. In this case, when saying goodbye, just say, "It was nice meeting you" and wish her luck. Or you could just say good night, smile and walk away. But if you do like her and are interested, then you must let her know.

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Sunday, July 12, 2009

Gifts to a Filipino or Filipina Business Partner

Small, inexpensive gifts with a personal touch are always appreciated. Find out what your recipient’s interests are. Attach a card with a personal message to your gift. Be careful not to give gifts that are too personal such as lingerie and perfume (Added: unless your business partner is also your lover).

Don’t expect that your Filipino or Filipina business partner will open the gift in front of you. Likewise, you should not open the gift in front of the giver, but wait until they leave.

Saturday, July 11, 2009

Traditional Filipino Wedding Customs

Filipino wedding customs combine both colonial influence and traditional beliefs. The more common Filipino wedding customs include choosing where to hold the wedding church and who the officiating priest will be. Couples who belong to prominent families usually prefer holding the wedding in an ancient Spanish-time church and enlist a well-known personality for an officiating pastor. Some say the ambiance generated by a Spanish-era church adds to the grandeur and solemnity of a wedding.



On the eve of a wedding, the bride-to-be is forbidden to see the groom-to-be. She likewise cannot try her wedding dress for fear that the wedding may not push through. On the wedding day itself, the bride usually wears a white-blue gown. There is preference for one that is borrowed. On exit from the church, the newlyweds go through the traditional throwing of coins, rice grains and flowers. This practice is said to induce abundance or wealth, as well as promote loyalty and abiding love between the couple.

There are sights of a wedding that make them distinctly Filipino. Example is the overflow of crowd witnessing the wedding rite, from the church to the reception. A Filipino wedding is never good enough if the crowd is not big enough. Filipinos after all are clannish people.

Post-wedding rites continue with undiminished festivity. The father of either bride or groom reads a wish list and toasts the wine, all in a gesture of ushering in a bright future for the new couple. The wedding dance brings the clan together, latching money bills of different denominations to various parts of the newlyweds’ clothes. It is a sign of sharing responsibilities among family members.

While some customs are unique to a certain province, the traditional Filipino wedding remains as one of the most valued occasions in the Philippines.

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